Unexpected Pregnancy Tips
When pregnancy catches a parent by surprise, it can lead to some difficult conversations. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you might find that your partner doesn’t feel excited about the baby, even if you do. These emotions can make it difficult to process the next steps.
If you’re facing this scenario, you need to know that you aren’t alone. Many women have to figure out their next steps even when their partners are not on board with the idea of parenthood. Before making any decisions about your relationship and pregnancy, take some time. Here are some things you can do.
1) Give Him Time to Process
When you tell your partner about the baby, chances are you’ve already had some time to process the news. You may have been wondering for a few weeks about whether or not you could be expecting, and you may have waited to share the news even after getting a positive test.
Your partner has many emotions to process. He may feel frustrated and overwhelmed. He may even be grieving what he feels would be a lost lifestyle if he becomes a dad. While you may not agree with these emotions, he has the right to feel them. Give him time to work through them.
2) Ask Questions
Before you assume negative things about your partner, ask some questions about why he might be hesitant about the pregnancy. Invite his honesty, and do not judge him for his real feelings. If you need to, reach out to a therapist to help the two of you work through your emotions together.
3) Enlist Supportive Friends and Family
If you still find that your partner is unsupported or not excited about the baby, you will need some supportive friends and family around you. While this conflict does not have to mean the end of your relationship, it may mean that you won’t get your partner’s expected level of support. If you don’t have friends and family who can support you and live nearby, consider joining a local, in-person support group. Heartbeat of Toledo can help you find a group to connect with in your area. Once you have a safe friend or family member on board, ask some of them to come with you to some of your doctor’s appointments. This added support person could help you feel less alone.
4) Don’t Assume You Only Have One Option
Many women in this situation assume their only option is abortion. Their partner may even pressure them in this way. This is not true. You have many options to consider besides abortion. Heartbeat of Toledo can help you explore these options and find the best fit for your situation. Remember that abortion is unlikely to fix the relationship issues you’re facing. Studies have found numerous emotional side effects of abortion that can affect both the mother and the father of the baby. These can be more damaging to your relationship than the pregnancy and baby.
5) Make the Right Decision Based on Your Needs
Pregnancy is when you need to decide based on your financial, emotional, and mental situation. Unfortunately, your partner may never come around. While your partner is the child’s father, this is one area where he does not get to make the decision. Ultimately, you may choose to keep your baby and lose your relationship. If this happens, you should know that a man who will not love his unborn baby is unlikely someone you want to build a life with. While this is a hard reality to understand, you need to accept it as you think through your options. If this happens, lean on the support people in your life as you process the genuine emotions it brings.
6) Find a Way to Relieve Stress
Walking through pregnancy without a supportive partner is hard. Find a way to relieve stress during this time. Whether it is a safe exercise routine, regularly meeting up with a friend, or simply practicing breathing exercises and meditation, find a way to lessen the stress you feel. Stress reduction is healthier for both you and your baby.
An unexpected pregnancy is a scary situation, but it does not have to be something you face entirely alone. Heartbeat of Toledo is here to provide confidential services and support you through this exciting yet challenging time. Call now to schedule an appointment. (419) 241-9131